Happy National Men Make Dinner Day! This unique holiday is officially celebrated on the first Thursday of every November, but this holiday is not for all men… If you’re one of those men who is a cooking magician and consistently makes delicious dinners from scratch, this day was not meant for you (sorry, Chef Lance Kosaka!). This holiday is for all you…other men. The men who bring pre-packaged meat and cheese platters to family potlucks, the men who pull out the potato masher when you asked for a whisk, the men who order Uber Eats for every. Single. Meal.
This holiday is meant to challenge all you lost-in-the-kitchen men by getting you out of your comfort zone! But, most importantly, it’s for your loved ones to enjoy a very special home-cooked meal made by you (and only you!) once a year. Plus, it’ll score you some major brownie points with your significant other! Well, that is if you can make it to the end of your cooking session with an edible final product. We’re here to prepare you with the (very, very likely to occur) emotional stages of Men Make Dinner Day. So, men, grab your cutting board and your shears and brace yourselves. Be careful out there, the vast terrain of the kitchen is not meant for the weak.
1. The Initial Excitement
“It’s Men Make Dinner Day,” she says… Oh, I’ve got this in the bag! Seriously, how hard can it really be? We go to Korean BBQ, like, at least once a week and that’s basically cooking your own dinner. I’m stoked, I’m pumped, I’m ready for this! This is going to be EPIC because I finally get to have what I want to eat plus, she’ll totally say yes to letting me have the boys over to watch the game after I make her this killer dinner.
2. Immense Gratitude
Dang, this is kind of hard… How does she make dinner 5 nights a week? Where does she find that many recipes? What does ‘dice’ even mean? Do I really need to let this sit first? I am never taking a home-cooked meal for granted ever again. Wow…she’s the best. She should go on that cooking competition show.
What. Is. THIS?! Omg is this even edible? Do I dare try this? Oh my gosh it’s hard, I can’t even taste anything! Oh wait, it tastes like charcoal! Bleh. Gross. I can’t tell which the meat is, and which is the veggies. Omg, omg, what am I going to do?! I can’t feed her this– what if she DIES?!
Okay, wait, maybe I’m being dramatic. Maybe this is fine. A for effort, right? But what if she really gets sick, I don’t want to make her sick. I can’t believe I thought this was going to be easy; I can’t believe I agreed to do this! WHO AM I?!
5. Top of Waikiki
Screw this, I can’t take it anymore. I’m just going to walk out there and tell her we’re going to Top of Waikiki for dinner instead. Wait, do you think they do takeout?